Apparently... sometimes love just isn't enough... life and aaaaaaall that other stuff gets in the way and even the most perfect, meant for each other soul mate kinda couples like us can't find a way and before you know it there you are, faced with that heart breaking, horrendously impossible, decision....
In the end we had no choice. Walking away this time was perhaps the hardest thing I've ever done. But enough of that for now. Less violins and more rocky music I say...
But first let me play you a love song : ) .....
And this is us at the wedding... me and my boys and my prince charming to whom I am truly truly forever grateful. Greg is the kindest most loving man and despite what was a very difficult time for us he was there for me when I needed him most. Had it not been for his love and support we may never have made it to the wedding at all. I am so so blessed to have these three amazing men in my life... filling it with laughter and tears, joy and pain, fear and hope and love. Lots and lots and lots of love. I am so blessed : ) Oh and a big shout out to my brother Matt who took this photo. You can find more of his awesomeness at Hotshotz Photography.
Now... less mushy stuff and more art : ) ...
Then a friend suggested I try painting a pineapple and I thought why not. So I did : )
I was a bit stuck then. I was broken and hurting and couldn't bring myself to paint flowers. I needed to play, have fun, let go and just enjoy the process. So I decided to throw some paint around and see what appeared. I tried hard to trust the process and let it take me wherever. Love love and love.....
And then this happened....
Looking back now... I think I seriously under estimated just how far this painting would push me artistically and even more so how much of me personally it would consume. Underneath those smiles are many many layers of how not to paint four beautiful daughters, weeks and weeks of showing up without a clue how I was going to bring the girls to life and do them justice, hours and hours and hour of omg Phillipa what were you thinking... it's impossible... just give up!
And there's that decision again... do I walk away or do I try harder?
Now what else did I do worth sharing?
And loads of self care therapy....
And then just in case like me you're left wanting more... here's another.
Love this lady so much.
Ummmm... what else?
Last weekend I picked up my paints again. I gladly let myself collapse back into what I know best, my arty default mode... light bright bold fresh fun flowers. It was so nice to be back. This is what evolved.... gotta be happy with that :)
It's so nice to have my heart and my art back where they belong. I hope my honesty and my little life story helps inspire even just one other person to try harder. Sometimes it's just a matter of stopping for a moment and re-adjusting your sails, finding a better way to keep going so that you can do what ever it takes to ride off into your own sunset... that's where the good stuff is right?
Big love.
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