Learning to be me...
Sometimes, despite our best efforts and intentions life throws us a curve ball and we have to adjust our sails, just breathe for a while and then fight like mad just to find a way back to happy. The last few months have been difficult for me, perhaps the most difficult yet hence my lack of updates. No pity parties though. I'm climbing the wall, getting back on the horse and learning. Learning to be on my own. Learning that lonely sux but I can survive it. Learning to be a strong yet loving single Mum (is that even possible!). Mostly though learning to be me. Finding me and my path and finding the courage (and time) to stay on it, stay focused and true.
My path since my marriage split 3 years ago has been a wobbly one with lots of twists and turns, hills and valleys and the odd mountain to manoeuvre but I'm getting stronger and I know, even on my darkest days I still have so much to be grateful for. I have my beautiful boys. And I have my paints... thank heavens I have my paints. In the words of Stella Adler “When life beats down and crushes our soul, art reminds us that we have one”
This is what my soul has created of late. I'm still experimenting/struggling with the intuitive style but it's all fun and I love not having any idea what I'll end up with when I get started. I always did love surprises and am usually delighted with the outcome... eventually.
This one was quite a journey. After hours and hours it somehow became a way too predictable and realistic bowl of pretty flower... nice but it wasn’t really working for me, too try hard and just not my thing. It wasn't easy covering up all that work but in the spirit of bravery, stepping out of my comfort zone and trusting the process I decided to venture further. The next layer just seemed to evolved on it's own and I love the outcome... it has a simple cute fresh country feel... much more me :)
I blogged a few months ago about new beginnings and this painting which wasn’t quite finished at the time... just needed a few finishing touches...
Well I finished it...
Much lighter, brighter and more fun I think... makes me want to frolic.
But wait there's more....
This next one is very special.. it flowed so easily from me like none other has. The following morning I learned that my beautiful Aunty Jean had passed away. She was such a bright happy gentle soul.. I think she would love this painting. Love you Aunty Jean xxx
This is me trying to take a half decent selfie for my fb profile photo. OMG! I gave up and have decided it’s just not possible for someone of my generation to do that!
I'm quite proud of this one...
This is the action center... my loungeroom floor. I don’t have a studio or even a designated space at the moment. I've learnt not to let that stop me, we just have to tread very carefully.
Some more before and afters....
I was very angry with my world when I started this next one. I deliberately tried to pour that out onto the canvas just to see what it would look like. But it wasn't long before the process soothed and calmed me and it's lovely to think that something so bright and beautiful can shine through in the end.
So that brings me to today... gotta love footy in the rain. So proud of my Mo who played his little heart out today... definitely inherited my passion... oh and his Dad’s knees!
And here’s a sneak peak at my current creation which is very bold and I don't mean just colour wise. I’ve been experimenting with fluid acrylic paints and acrylic inks and am having so much fun that my intuition and imagination are running free across the canvas... quite literally.
Lest We Forget.
Follow your dreams and never ever ever ever give up.
22/5/2014 02:05:38 pm
I love where your work has progressed too.
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