Be Brave!

Bloom True Boot Camp: Week 4
Sat 27 
Be Brave!

"Today’s prompt is all about cultivating courage and being brave.  This means trusting the wisdom of our heart…no matter what."  Flora Bowly

Another biggie for me. It's not easy being a perfectionist.. actually it can be crippling. It has been my biggest hurdle as an artist to date. It is the single biggest thing that will stop me from living my dreams... if I let it. I don't intend to let it any more!

In my last post I mentioned another on-line course I'm doing. It's called Hello Soul Hello Mixed Media Mantras by another of my absolute fave artists, Kelly Rae Roberts. I'm hoping neither Flora  nor Kelly Rae will mind me cross-promoting their courses... they are both just the most awesome inspiring creative women on the planet and I am learning so much from them both not only in an artistic sense but mostly in a personal life journey sense. They say art reflects life and it's true... for me anyway.

Coincidentally I'm having to do some pretty deep soul searching stuff for the Hello Soul course, lots of letting go of the outcome, being fearless, staying unattached and trusting the wisdom of my heart... no matter what. And so  I'm going to share that little (big for me) journey with you and walk you through the painting I created today for that course.....

The first few layers is all about just getting paint on the canvas, going wild and having fun. I created this which I loooved and could see lots of potential for... look at the amazing colours.. I wanted to stop here, add some flowers and a word maybe. But I had to push through that and keep going...

 

Next we added another layer, learning different tips and techniques as we went. Trusting and believing, letting go. 

I was trying hard to let go but at this point I felt I'd just screwed up my next masterpiece.

Next we added some collage. This was completely new for me and while I was at this point having fun and beginning to get excited about the outcome I still felt attached to that beautiful background which is all but gone :(

Oh well, no turning back now!

But then.... 

Another layer of paint and bringing in different layering and texturing techniques. Wow!!! Look what I created. I did that.... love love love it!!!

Oh nooo.. I had to keep going. More layers... I had to detach from this beautiful amazing painting I'd created, dig deep and trust in the process, in Kelly Rae's vision and belief that there are no mistakes... trust.. no matter what.

But how do I? Should I really risk what I have created hoping for something better? What if everything ends up a big mess? What if I really regret it? Do I really want to take the risk? Do I have what it takes? Am I good enough? Obviously this little hurdle right here runs way way deeper with me than my art. I so so so want to overcome my "stuckness" in all areas of my life. Ditch my comfort zone(s) so I can live fearlessly and free, chase my dreams and go for the things I deserve... happiness, success, love. I knew I had to push through.. I had to keep going. It was excruciatingly difficult.

Another layer of paint, learning more techniques and (supposedly) having fun. 

At this point I was feeling that mixture of horror, self doubt, pride and excitement. While I wasn't in love with the mess in front of me I was definitely feeling much free-er and unattached to the outcome. It was much much much easier to keep going..

And then, another layer or two, another breakthrough...

Again... I loooove this!!! And I'm really beginning to get this whole letting go thing, embracing the journey, being brave and trusting trusting trusting.

Now I'm just having fun!!!  I don't feel like I've failed for stuffing up anything and I don't doubt that I can keep going and create something beautiful again. I just can't wait to keep going...

More learning techniques... this time we're beginning to make more conscious decisions while still trusting our instincts. Considering our vision for the piece but still working quickly without focusing too much on the outcome. Dancing between making a decision and letting go of the outcome... 

I loved doing that. It was amazing not feeling I needed to consider every little thing... should I cover this  up, what if I loose that, what if I stuff it up completely? 

Guess what?.. THERE ARE NO MISTAKES. I AM ENOUGH. I GET IT!!!

AMAZING!!!

Look what I did  --------------------------->

It's not finished yet. I don't know where it will go from here or how it will end up. I don't care. I'm just having fun and enjoying the process :)

I can't help but have total gratefulness for the fact that I didn't stop at that first layer, or the second or third. Look at what would never have been. Look at what I'm capable of... I'm a little bit excited at the thought of what else I have in me. My mind is boggling big time.. again :)

So I hope I can take this arty lesson and apply it to the rest of my life. I will certainly try.

Thank you Flora... it was you that lead me to Kelly Rae actually. As they say when the student is ready. I am ready and I'm so so grateful that you both appeared. Flora your Bloom True E-course will be next.. I can't wait :)

Trust and believe... no matter what!

PS. Thought I'd share my finished piece.