I recall this time last year I spoke about my hope and excitement for the year ahead. It had been three years since my marriage break down, things were much calmer, the house, the finances, the settlement, the court battles, the boys battles... all the incredibly difficult and traumatic stressful heartbreaking stuff was done, dealt with... the horrible hard yards were behind me. Or so I thought. Apparently there was one last hurdle... myself. Deep down I always knew this day would come.. the fear of facing it had been lurking inside me since the day I found the courage to leave. My life had been so difficult for so long (over 15 years), dealing with it had become my comfort zone. I knew once all the bad, sad, tough stuff was gone so too would my safety net, my out, my excuse for not stepping up and creating a better life for us. No excuses now. Just me. My moment of truth. Holy crap! I felt incredibly vulnerable, raw, naked, inadequate, scared and totally overwhelmed by the emptiness of my life and how I could ever possibly fill it with happiness again. I have never felt so alone. Do I have what it takes to do this on my own? What if I don't? What if I can't? What if, what if, what if??? Anxiety engulfed me. Suddenly I was back fighting for some sort of normal. Something to hold on to, a foothold to stop me from falling and never getting up again. Enter Kelly Rae Roberts... an angel in the shape of an awesome artist and creative business woman with a truly beautiful soul. Once again the universe had thrown me the perfect life line at the perfect time.
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January 2019
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