I will never forget the first time I read these words... it wasn't that long ago and it was one of the many aha moments we have when we're on the road to self discovery.
I'm not sure if it was the fact that it described what goes on in my head so brilliantly that struck me most, or the realisation that maybe there were others who felt the same way... maybe I am just "a creative person" and not insane after all. Maybe, just maybe I'm normal.
For me, along with creative you can throw in ambitious, sensitive, introverted and perfectionist with an anxiety disorder (there I've said it)... you can probably quadruple the number of tabs open on any given day. After nearly 50 years I'm still learning to live with myself and be comfortable in my own skin. I'm getting there.
So Getting Quiet is a biggie for me. I've dabbled with meditation over the years but I don't think its really stood a chance inside my head and I never gave it the time. Far too much chaos to meditate!
Woohoo... Today I ordered heaps of new templates and Dillusions Spray Inks like these...
So I can create more amazing textured backgrounds like these...
We're a little bit excited like this...
And I did it relatively guilt free (which is huge for me :)
Because I deserve it.
Oh boy do I deserve it!
Thank you Flora for helping me see that my needs matter too.
Bloom True Boot Camp
Monday Sept 1. Invite the Sacred
In our home the Sacred is called The Force... my boys dubbed it that years ago as a joke but it stuck and I’m glad. Unfortunately The Force hasn’t been with me for a number of years now, well not consciously anyway. It was one of the many precious things that gave way in the aftermath of my devastating marriage breakdown. I never stopped believing though, never doubted and there were many times when I could do nothing but hold on tight to that belief… it was all I had. It got me through.
Things are better now. Thankfully my life and I are just beginning to find our way and of course it was no coincidence when The Force recently sent me a copy of Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. I had read it before and knew it was just what I needed to reignite the spiritual spark in me.
I now invite the Sacred into my heart and soul every day. I use affirmations and positive self-talk. I’ve started yoga and am exercising (almost) every day. I’m trying hard to stop obsessing over the past and worrying about the future… I just enjoy today. I’m doing things for me… I even had a massage the other day, it was heaven! I’m learning to bring the Sacred into my art too and have signed up for both Kelly Rae Roberts Hello Soul Hello Mixed Media course and Tracey Verdugo’s Paint Mojo.
And of course The Force has now brought me you Flora Bowley and your Bloom True Boot Camp. Apparently it’s also going to bring me a few more hours in the day so I can fit all this in and your Bloom True E-Course… I have faith!
Things are much better now, calmer, and brighter. I can feel that inner glow returning… a kind of knowing where I used to cling to hope, faith instead of fear. I think I’m doin ok. Actually I think I might be happy. Whoohoo!
Thank you Flora for inspiring me to invite the Sacred in xxx
Yes I know... so much for monthly updates! Seems I've now decided to just post whenever I can. So here's whats been happening in the last few months...
I did a Liquitex workshop at "That Little Art Place" here in Singleton. Lovely Lisa demonstrated how to use many of the Liquitex range of paints, inks and mediums and we got to play with them for a few hours. It was excellent.. thanks Lisa!!! I left with a bag of goodies and have been experimenting with them...
How cool is this Pouring Medium! Just add different colour paint or ink to the medium then pour it onto your canvas. Blend a little then sit back and watch the magic as it settles in to place and dries.
This is my masterpiece...
And this is what happens when you combine it with too much coffee :)
I also bought some spray paint and acrylic inks for stenciling and creating textured backgrounds. Fun, fun, fun !!!
Now that my Dad is well on the road to recovery I'd like to mention his close call just encase it helps save someone else's life. Very vigilant about his health and fitness Dad (who's 76) had just had a routine check up and been told by his doctor he was "so fit it was sickening". He also went for a routine heart check and all was good but they decided to do a stress test just to be sure and booked a further appointment 3 weeks later. Dad went home and continued with his morning exercise routine... walking miles along the river and up and down the river bank. He has told us since that he had been feeling a little more exhausted of late but thought he was just getting old(er) and so had upped his exercise.
He hadn't even completed the stress test when they pulled it up and told Dad his heart was under extreme stress. The cardiologist was called immediately and Dad was told he had to go directly to hospital for further tests. The short version... turns out his main artery was 90% blocked and he had bypass surgery within the week. He was told he'd been living on the edge of a cliff with his toes hanging over but his fitness was compensating and masking the symptoms.. we could have lost him any day.
Dad's heart is fine now thank heavens. And so is mine. I know it is because I went and had a stress test too. You see my Mum had a heart attack a few years ago also caused by a blocked artery. Family history right there in my face. My sister and brothers have also been. It's easy and it's peace of mind.
I've been combining my love of art with my graphic art skills again and created these multi-media prints. Not sure yet if I want to go down the print making path but I'm having fun trying to figure it out.
Finally finally finally celebrated a Blues State Of Origin series win with my boys who have been waiting most of their lives. That moment, the three of us in a huddle spontaneously jumping for joy in our loungeroom... I will never forget!
And added Loom Banding to my list of creative endeavors. Thank you Cheong for risking everything to create such a fun family activity. I hope you enjoy your millions :)
We celebrated the birthdays of both my amazing boys (they're on the right) and their lovely cousins Mac and Laynie in one big bash at my parents home. It was a lovely family gathering and so nice to get together again as always.
I painted these....
Signed up for this workshop and cannot wait to get started on Sep 8th
And that brings us up to date I think.
Until next time I hope life is kind to you and you to it.
I'm still trying to fit my life into my life, so (apparently) I've decided to write one big update each month. Excellent!! Works for me : )
So what did May bring my way....
At the end of my last update I gave you a sneak peek at the painting I was working on. Here's the (very nearly) finished masterpiece. I'm a bit excited about this one mostly because for the first time I felt I was able to just let go and let the painting evolve. Layer upon layer upon layer upon... oh look... wow... that looks like a naked woman. And I literally had to bring her to life.
It's titled "Emerging" because, well she did. And is. And so am I. I can feel my unique painting style and the unique introverted, passionate, sensitive and creative ME just beginning to peek through reveal, emerge. Lets just hope when I do I'm not blue, bald and naked.
I created this mixed media print using acrylics and photoshop.
We've been renting a lovely house/duplex since we sold our family home after my separation. It's been a great easy space for me to land and find my confidence but I'm beginning to feel ready and quite excited about finding a home to call our own. We inspected 3 this month in the hope that one might steal my heart when I walk through the door. That didn't happen. Maybe next month : )
I crocheted 32 squares to make another rug like this one. Only about 60 more to go.
Made these prints using acrylic and photoshop.
And just for fun... rediscovered Dr Hook. Were they not the coolest band on the planet back then? A hey hey... that's beautiful!
Actually it's nice doing one big update at the end of the month. Lets me see and appreciate what I've achieved. Even the little things all add up.
Yes I'm happy with May 2014. What will June bring? More layers, Uggies and climbing into a toasty warm bed each night I expect. Can't wait : )
Sometimes I find stuff and just have to share. Today I found the poetry of Natalie Patterson... WOW! Watch this clip to the end. I dare you!
There will come a day when your fight is bigger than your fear. When you nearly claw your way out of your body to prove you exist. Leave that skin for someone else and design your own wings. You are a masterpiece, magnificent in your own glory. Natalie Patterson
I feel like this poem was written about me. For me. Aren't women awesome!! If only we could get out of our own way, love and believe in ourselves. Or maybe the real trick is to find happiness in the journey, be content to be a work in progress. And to understand and support other women on their journey.
I will try.
Sometimes, despite our best efforts and intentions life throws us a curve ball and we have to adjust our sails, just breathe for a while and then fight like mad just to find a way back to happy. The last few months have been difficult for me, perhaps the most difficult yet hence my lack of updates. No pity parties though. I'm climbing the wall, getting back on the horse and learning. Learning to be on my own. Learning that lonely sux but I can survive it. Learning to be a strong yet loving single Mum (is that even possible!). Mostly though learning to be me. Finding me and my path and finding the courage (and time) to stay on it, stay focused and true.
My path since my marriage split 3 years ago has been a wobbly one with lots of twists and turns, hills and valleys and the odd mountain to manoeuvre but I'm getting stronger and I know, even on my darkest days I still have so much to be grateful for. I have my beautiful boys. And I have my paints... thank heavens I have my paints. In the words of Stella Adler “When life beats down and crushes our soul, art reminds us that we have one”
This is what my soul has created of late. I'm still experimenting/struggling with the intuitive style but it's all fun and I love not having any idea what I'll end up with when I get started. I always did love surprises and am usually delighted with the outcome... eventually.
This one was quite a journey. After hours and hours it somehow became a way too predictable and realistic bowl of pretty flower... nice but it wasn’t really working for me, too try hard and just not my thing. It wasn't easy covering up all that work but in the spirit of bravery, stepping out of my comfort zone and trusting the process I decided to venture further. The next layer just seemed to evolved on it's own and I love the outcome... it has a simple cute fresh country feel... much more me :)
I blogged a few months ago about new beginnings and this painting which wasn’t quite finished at the time... just needed a few finishing touches...
Well I finished it...
Much lighter, brighter and more fun I think... makes me want to frolic.
But wait there's more....
This next one is very special.. it flowed so easily from me like none other has. The following morning I learned that my beautiful Aunty Jean had passed away. She was such a bright happy gentle soul.. I think she would love this painting. Love you Aunty Jean xxx
This is me trying to take a half decent selfie for my fb profile photo. OMG! I gave up and have decided it’s just not possible for someone of my generation to do that!
I'm quite proud of this one...
This is the action center... my loungeroom floor. I don’t have a studio or even a designated space at the moment. I've learnt not to let that stop me, we just have to tread very carefully.
Some more before and afters....
I was very angry with my world when I started this next one. I deliberately tried to pour that out onto the canvas just to see what it would look like. But it wasn't long before the process soothed and calmed me and it's lovely to think that something so bright and beautiful can shine through in the end.
So that brings me to today... gotta love footy in the rain. So proud of my Mo who played his little heart out today... definitely inherited my passion... oh and his Dad’s knees!
And here’s a sneak peak at my current creation which is very bold and I don't mean just colour wise. I’ve been experimenting with fluid acrylic paints and acrylic inks and am having so much fun that my intuition and imagination are running free across the canvas... quite literally.
Lest We Forget.
Follow your dreams and never ever ever ever give up.
I've been dabbling with 'Intuitive' painting. Well actually more like immersing every ounce of my being in it since finding the works of Flora Bowley and Tracy Verdugo a few weeks ago. Their vibrant and free flowing style speaks to my soul and fills me with childish excitement... something that has been missing from my life for quite a few years. I cannot wait to paint.. it's such a great feeling. I hope it lasts forever!
Painting intuitively is all about letting your art emerge without too much thought. As Flora says "Let Go. Be Bold. Unfold. Open up to a world of creativity where anything is possible".
Well I'm finding it's not so easy to let go and be bold... the bloody perfectionist in me has teamed up with my self doubt and they're having a field day. But I'm learning and growing and having soooo much fun.
Here's what has emerged so far. From free flowing start to finish.
I must say I'm a little bit proud of this next one. I don't have a photo of the very start and it was quite a process but I'm really happy with where it finished.
And I can't wait to see what emerges next.
Just have to find time to frame them before I post them on my website for sale. Or you can contact me here if you like.
Apparently there's a new movement that requires us to have a WORD for the year. Funny really because before I even heard / read about this a word had attached itself to me since the New Year. So if I were going to have a word it would definitely be "BEGIN".
A friend asked me the other day what does 2014 hold for me? I liked my reply... " I'm not sure really but I do know I have to begin. Just begin and believe. And we'll see where that takes me".
There are many things I want to begin but without a doubt the most important is to start painting again. And not just dabble but whole heartedly. You know like a real artist.
Well today I began. I painted all day and it was.... what do you do when even the best word to describe something isn't good enough. That's how good it was to be painting again. Bliss infinity.
This is it. Not quite finished yet but a great place to begin I think : )